Parents and caregivers can significantly influence how much their children take on and how they are treated in relation to their talents. Below are a few ways to help children through burnout or work through stress as an adult who was once a gifted child.
Teach your child time management strategies, such as time blocking and setting aside time for self-care and rest. A few ways to make this process easier may include the following:
If your child asks to take on less responsibility, try not to pressure them to do more than they are able. Burnout can lead to the harmful impacts associated with chronic stress, including high blood pressure, increased risk of physical and mental illness, inflammation, and headaches. Work with your child to help them develop a schedule they can feasibly maintain without distress.
Expectations from others can be a significant source of burnout for children. Although parents may want the best for their kids, pushing them to take on too many activities can lead a child to believe they are unworthy unless they are meeting their parents’ demands.
In general, everyone goes through challenges, including children. When children have a difficult day or struggle to complete an assignment, they may be afraid to reach out to their support system due to the fear of not meeting their expectations.
Let your children know you will support and love them no matter what grade or outcome they achieve. Lower your expectations for what their intelligence and talent could mean for their future. You may desire for them to accomplish a high-paying or high-profile job. However, everyone is different, and being gifted doesn’t necessarily mean a child will someday want to be a doctor, lawyer, or executive. Nurture your child’s personality and encourage them to pursue their interests.
Children may start to associate their success with how good of a person they are or whether they will be loved or cherished by others. They may tie their success to their identity. When they win or make progress, the attention they get from others can lead them to believe they are special, important, and loved. However, if they are not celebrated for who they are as a person rather than for their achievements, they may think they're only worthy if they work exceptionally hard and have many accomplishments.
Children are people with unique personalities and desires. Remind your child that they are perfect exactly as they are. Celebrate their non-academic and non-skill-based achievements, such as their self-expression, humor, personality, kindness, empathy, or artistic ability. Help them put time into their hobbies, even if those hobbies aren’t necessarily tied to their success. Spend time with them and remind them that they are unique and special.
Having a gifted child who experiences burnout can be challenging for parents. In addition, adults who were once considered gifted children may continue to carry stress into their professional lives, believing they must overachieve to be valued at work or in their relationships. If you are struggling with these challenges, consider talking to a therapist.
If in-person therapy is out of your budget or doesn’t fit your schedule, you might try online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp. Online platforms allow you to get advice from home or any location with an internet connection via phone, video, or live chat sessions. In addition, you can match with a therapist who has experience supporting parents or those with burnout.
Studies show that online therapy can be effective in reducing burnout. In a 2022 study, internet-based therapy reduced the risk of burnout by approximately 26% and identified multiple risk factors for its development, helping participants take control of their mental health.
Gifted children often experience a high risk of stress due to the external pressure to succeed. To prevent burnout, parents may benefit from teaching their children about time management and not associating their identity and self-esteem with their successes. To discuss this topic and receive support, consider reaching out to a therapist online or in your area.